Grief Hurts Because Love Matters

Emotional Health – Coping with Grief and Loss

Why does grief hurt so much?

Grief cuts deep because it shows how much we loved. Whether it’s the death of someone close, a breakup, a miscarriage, or even a major life shift like losing a job or moving away, grief shows up in all sorts of ways. It doesn’t just hurt because something’s gone—it hurts because something mattered.

What grief feels like

Grief isn’t tidy. It comes in waves—sometimes out of nowhere. One moment you feel numb, the next overwhelmed. You might cry a lot, or not at all. Maybe you can’t sleep, or maybe you can’t get out of bed. Your emotions might swing from sadness to anger to guilt to relief—all in the same day. All of that is normal.

There’s no “right” way to grieve. And there’s no fixed timeline either. What matters is letting yourself feel what you feel.

Myths about grief

People mean well, but not everything you hear about grief is helpful. You might be told:

• “You should move on by now.”
• “Staying busy will make it go away.”
• “Crying means you’re weak.”

None of that is true.

Grief isn’t a race or a problem to fix. It’s a process. And it’s okay if yours doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

How to cope in healthy ways

Grief is personal, but there are some gentle things you can do to support yourself:

• Talk about it. Share your feelings, even if they feel messy. A friend, a therapist, or a support group can help hold space for your pain.
• Take care of your body. Try to sleep, eat something nourishing, move your body when you can. Grief lives in your body too.
• Feel your feelings. Don’t judge your sadness, or your anger, or even your numbness. Let the feelings come—and go—without pushing them away.
• Avoid numbing out. It might feel tempting to drink more, overwork, or distract yourself endlessly. But those things can make grief linger longer.
• Be kind to yourself. Some days will feel harder than others. That doesn’t mean you’re failing—it just means you’re human.

When grief doesn’t ease

Sometimes grief feels stuck, like you can’t move through it. If months have passed and you still feel like you’re drowning, or your daily life feels impossible, you might be dealing with something called complicated grief. That’s not your fault—and it doesn’t mean you’re broken. But it may be time to reach out for professional help.

There’s no shame in needing support. In fact, it’s one of the strongest things you can do for yourself.

Finding meaning after loss

Grief doesn’t mean the love is gone—it means the love is still alive. Over time, many people find that grief changes. It becomes something you carry differently. You might find new ways to honor the person you lost, or new strength you didn’t know you had.

You’ll never “get over” someone you loved—but you can learn to live forward with their memory as part of you.